LGBTQ+ DICTIONARY
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GENDER
WHAT IS GENDER?
The LGBT Center of Wisconsin's definition of gender is the following:
"A set of cultural constructs describing characteristics that may historically be related to femininity, masculinity, women, men, nonbinary people, or social norms. The term was coined in 1955 by sexologist John Money after noting the difference between gender and sex."
Listed below is another definition of gender, defined by the Canadian Institute of Health Research:
"Gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and gender diverse people. It influences how people perceive themselves and each other, how they act and interact, and the distribution of power and resources in society. Gender identity is not confined to a binary (girl/woman, boy/man) nor is it static; it exists along a continuum and can change over time. There is considerable diversity in how individuals and groups understand, experience and express gender through the roles they take on, the expectations placed on them, relations with others and the complex ways that gender is institutionalized in society."
Gender, in short, is a social construct. It ties in with Social Construction Theory. This theory explains that many of our expectations and identities that are considered 'natural' were shaped by the societies of the past. Social constructs have big influence on people, even if they aren't true. However, social constructs can be reconstructed to become a better fit for future societies and cultures.
WHAT IS GENDER IDENTITY?
Gender Identity is one's sense of self in regards to gender. It is one's internal perception and how they label themselves. It is your own understanding and experience of your gender, regardless of the society you live in.
We can express our gender through our identity. Some examples of this are labels, your pronouns, your appearance, how you act, how you dress, etc.
WHAT IS GENDER EXPRESSION?
Gender Expression describes the ways we show our gender identity. Gender expression can both be correlated and uncorrelated with gender identity. We can express our gender through the clothes that we wear, our physical attributes, the mannerisms we use, the behaviors we display, how we style our hair, our voice, etc. Our expressions are made on the general senses on scales on masculinity and femininity. This is also known as 'gender presentation'.
WHAT ARE GENDER ROLES/GENDER BINARY?
The definition of Gender Roles from PFLAG National Glossary is listed down below:
"The strict set of societal beliefs that dictate the so-called acceptable behaviors for people of different genders, usually binary in nature. Many people find these to be restrictive and harmful, as they reinforce the gender binary."
The gender binary is a currently disproven concept. It's the idea that there are only two genders that exist; men and women, and that everyone must be either one or the other. It reinforces the ideas that men and women are opposites and have different roles in society (EX: The household wife, male U.S. Presidents, etc). The gender binary is also misused to prove that gender is biological.
Gender roles are often assigned to people based on what sex they were assigned at birth. Gender roles are especially harmful to people who fall outside of the binary system. Gender roles can lead to people making many contextual assumptions about the capabilities of what different kinds of bodies should and shouldn't 'do'.
WHAT IS THE GENDER SPECTRUM?
This is the concept that gender is more than the man/woman model. It's the idea that gender exists across a continuum. Some people exist off the spectrum completely. Some people move fluidly across the spectrum. Some fall towards having more masculine aspects. Some fall towards having more feminine aspects.
WHAT IS GENDER ENVY?
Gender envy is a casual term usually used by transgender people. It's used to describe people they aspire to be like, usually referring to have envy for one's gender expression. Examples of this can be wanting someone's physical features, someone's voice, someone's mannerisms, someone's style, etc, of a specific gender. Gender envy can also be experienced by people expressing themselves outside of society's gender stereotypes.
WHAT IS GENDER EUPHORIA/DYSPHORIA?
Gender euphoria is the happy feeling that's experienced when someone's gender is respected and recognized by others, when someone's body aligns with their gender, or when one expresses themselves based on their gender.
According to KidsHelpLine, their definition of gender dysphoria states that gender dysphoria is:
"A medical term used to describe the distress or discomfort that people may feel when their assigned sex at birth and gender identity don't match. It's common for people feeling gender dysphoria to be uncomfortable with their body (Ex: during puberty) and the roles of their assigned gender."
Gender dysphoria is the anxiety and discomfort towards one's assigned sex at birth.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
WHAT IS SEXUAL ORIENTATION?
The LGBT Center of Wisconsin's definition of Sexual Orientation is the following:
"A person’s physical, romantic, emotional, aesthetic, and/or other form of attraction to others. In Western cultures, gender identity and sexual orientation are not the same. Trans people can be straight, bisexual, lesbian, gay, asexual, pansexual, queer, etc. just like anyone else. For example, a trans woman who is exclusively attracted to other women would often identify as lesbian."
PFLAG National Glossary states the following about Sexual Orientation:
"The sexual attraction toward other people or no people. While sexual activity involves the choices one makes regarding behavior, one’s sexual activity does not define one’s sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is part of the human condition, and all people have one. Typically, it is attraction that helps determine orientation."
Much like gender identity, sexual orientation is internally held knowledge.
WHAT IS SEX (SAAB)?
Sex (also known as Sex Assigned At Birth (SAAB)) means multiple different things. It can first refer to your biological sex. It can refer to your assigned sex. It can refer to your legal status on your identification documents.
It's a phrase that's used to recognizes someone's assigned sex, not their gender identity.
Other ways that it's called are 'designated sex at birth' (DSAB), 'sex coercively assigned at birth' (SCAB), or used specifically as 'assigned male at birth' (MAAB) or 'assigned female at birth (AFAB).
THE 14 TYPES OF ATTRACTION
According to Choosing Therapy, there are 14 different kinds of attraction. But, what really is attraction? Attraction, as defined by Choosing Therapy, is as follows:
"Attraction is the power that draws us to another person that elicits feelings of interest, liking, or desire. The attraction we feel for a person is reflective of our personality, values, and lifestyles. It is an individual and personal experience and unique to each person. Attraction isn’t always binary and can change over time. These changes are often influenced by where a person is in their life, what is important to them at the moment, and their specific needs and desires. Sometimes, as a person changes and grows, so does their type of attraction towards another person."
There are many different ways that one person can be attracted to another, and attraction isn't necessarily black and white. A person can experience different types of attraction at once. You can have multiple types of attraction for another person. Attraction doesn't stay stable over time. There is no 'right' way to be attracted to someone. You can also stop being attracted to someone you were previously attracted to.
These can come in all different forms: physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual, romantic, or a combination of various things. Choosing Therapy lists 14 different types of attraction.
EMOTIONAL
Emotional Attraction is the desire to form an emotional bond with someone. This attraction is deepened by long, in-depth conversations about shared values and desires. It's also deepend by feeling that the other person is also emotionally attracted to you.
"Hey! That person really gets me!"
PLATONIC
This is a friendship that develops with another person in a non-romantic and non-sexual way. You like this other individual as a person. You desire to be friends with them based on either who they are or a shared lifestyle.
"Non-romantic & non-sexual!"
PASSION
The desire for another person that is strong and intense. You experience deep, emotional feelings for the other individual. This can be present at the beginning of a relationship where passion (deep, intense feelings) are present.
"Super strong, super intense."
SQUISH
A squish is a platonic crush or a non-romantic desire to have an emotional connection and relationship with a person. The feelings are intense, but they're without sexual or romantic attraction. The feelings are more than platonic or one an individual has for a friend.
"More than platonic. More than just a friend."
ROMANTIC
The desire to have romantic contact or interacting with another individual. You spend a lot of time thinking about them, the next time you'll be together, and how you can blend your lives and have shared experiences together.
There are many different kinds of romantic attraction, many of which will be explained later in this section of the website. But, here are a few examples:
ALLOROMANTIC: An attraction that is considered 'normal' to society. It's based more on having a romantic relationship. You experience romantic feelings towards another individual, regardless of gender or genders. It's not focused on gender, but more towards a romantic relationship.
AMATONORMATIVITY: The societal assumption and social pressure that everyone grows and prospers with romantic relationships. It's the idea that it's normal for people to desire a romantic relationship, but that's not true for everyone.
AUTOROMANTIC: The attraction towards having romantic feelings for yourself. The primary focus is self. They do things with and for themselves they would in a relationship like buy gifts and take themselves out for dates.
BIROMANTIC: Romantic orientation where the person has the capacity to have a romantic and/or emotional connection to two or more genders at the same time.
CRUSH: An intense and often short-lived feelings for someone else that go unexpressed. These feelings don't have to be romantic. It's an intense infatuation with someone that can occur instantly and linger.
GREYROMANTIC: Someone who rarely experiences romantic feelings in their lifetime. They may experience romantic attraction, but not necessarily desire a romantic relationship.
HETEROROMANTIC: A person experiences romantic feelings only towards the opposite sex.
HOMOROMANTIC: Having romantic feelings towards another person of the same gender.
POLYROMANTIC: Romantic feelings towards multiple genders, but not all of them and doesn't necessarily include sexual attraction.
"The desire for romance."
ALTEROUS
"I wanna be close, but not romantic!"
The desire to have a special emotional connection or emotional relationship that's neither romantic or platonic, but somewhere in the middle. The person desires emotional closeness, but not romantically.
INTELLECTUAL
Attraction towards another person's intelligence. This attraction is magnified by having conversations about interesting topics. It's an attraction and curiosity about how the other individual thinks.
"Let me pick your brain."
PROTECTIVE
The desire to protect and take care of a person. This can be taking care of people like a loved one, a child, a friend, or a partner. The attraction is based on a desire to protect them.
"Let me take care of you!"
PHYSICAL
A desire for physical contact and connection with a person, but not in a sexual or romantic context. There is physical appeal to the other person. There is also the desire to be close to them. This includes touching and giving and receiving affection. Physical attraction has a few subcategories:
INTIMACY: The feeling you want to be close and emotionally connected. You feel comfortable opening up and sharing your thoughts and feelings. You can be vulnerable with the other individual.
OBJECTIVE PHYSICAL: The other individual is attractive. You don't need to depend on another person's thoughts to determine if they are or not. They simply are.
SUBJECTIVE PHYSICAL: What is attractive and what isn't. Each person has their own preferences to what is and isn't attractive. Beauty and attractiveness are subjective.
SENSUAL: The desire to interact and be close with another individual in a non-sexual but tactile way. This can be done through touch, hugging, or cuddling.
"I need physical connection, but not in a sexual way."
ATTACHMENT
"Long-term feelings."
A kind of bond that develops in long-term and committed relationships. This attachment can be developed between a spouse, a friend, a partner, or a family member. It's a meaningful, deep bond between two people.
LOVE
Interest in another individual that involves being emotionally, romantically, physically, sexually, and aesthetically interested in the other individual. Someone desires a person that involves expression emotion, physical, and romaintic contact.
"I love you!"
QUEERPLATONIC
The desire for a close, committed relationship that is non-romantic and non-sexual with another person of any gender or sexual identity. There is a defined status, structure, and norms.
"More than just a friendship."
SEXUAL
The intense desire and arousal in another individual. You may or may not have romantic interest, but you are sexually attracted to them and wish to engage in some form of sexual contact.
SEXUAL ATTRACTION IS NOT THE SAME AS SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
Sexual attraction has a few subcategories:
LUST: Having unbridled, intense, and powerful feelings and desires for another person. An overwhelming feeling of sexual and physical attraction. 'Driven by the desire for sexual gratification'.
OBJECTIVE SEXUAL: When someone finds another individual sexually attractive, others may or may not agree with them. But that doesn't matter. An example of this is finding a certain movie star attractive when others don't.
SUBJECTIVE SEXUAL: Your attraction towards another individual is based on your own personal experiences with them.
"I want physical connection, but in a sexual way."
AESTHETIC
Being drawn to someone because of their physical beauty. This desire doesn't need to include the want for a physical, sexual, or romantic connection.
An example of this is someone may see another person and think, "Wow, they are really good looking." You find them attractive. You don't want to date or touch them, but the attraction is based on how they look that you find appealing.
"You're pleasing to the eye."
DIFFERENT KINDS OF GENDER IDENTITY
Listed down below are some, but not all, kinds of gender identity! If you know of a gender identity that isn't listed below, please let me know!
CISGENDER (CIS)
An adjective that means "identifies as their assigned sex at birth" derived from the Latin word meaning 'on the same side'. A cisgender person is not transgender. Cisgender doesn't indicate biology, gender expression, or sexuality/sexual orientation. In discussions regarding trans issues, one would differentiate between women who are trans and women who aren't by saying trans women and cis women. Cis is not a 'fake' word and is not a slur.
AGENDER
Someone who does not identify with any gender or do not have a sense of gender. They may feel a lack of gender or a disconnect from the concept of gender.
Agender is different from nonbinary because nonbinary people do experience gender.
TWO-SPIRIT
According to the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board (NPAIHB), Two-Spirit is a term within someone American Indian and Alaska Native communities to refer to a person who identifies as having both a male and a female essence or spirit. It encompasses sexual, cultural, gender, and spiritual identities, and provides unifying, positive, and encouraging language that emphasizes reconnecting to tribal traditions. Non-indigenous people should not use this term.
DEMIGENDER
Someone who experiences only a partial connection to a specific gender identity.
TRANSGENDER (TRANS)
An adjective to describe someone whose gender identity doesn't match their assigned sex at birth. An example of this is a person who was assigned as male at birth but identifies as a woman. Transgender people may undergo gender-affirming medical interventions, like hormone therapy or surgery, to align their physical appearance with their gender identity.
GENDERQUEER
An identity commonly used by people who do not identify or express their gender within the gender binary. People who identify as genderqueer may identify as neither male or female, may see themselves outside or in between the binary gender boxes, or may simply feel restricted by gender labels. It's sometimes used as an umbrella term like the term queer is used, but it only refers to gender and should only be used when self-identifying or quoting an individual that uses the term genderqueer for themselves.
INTERSEX
A general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.
Example: A person might be born appearing to be female on the outside, but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside.
Example: A girl may be born with a noticeably large clitoris, or lacking a vaginal opening, or a boy may be born with a notably small penis, or with a scrotum that is divided.
Example: A person may be born with mosaic genetics, so that some of her cells have XX chromosomes and some of them have XY.
ANDROGYNE
A person who identifies as simultaneously male and female or in between male and female.
Androgyne is an identity that is under the non-binary umbrella.
NONBINARY
An umbrella term for gender identities that don't fit within the categories of male or female. People who are nonbinary may identify as a mix of genders, outside of the gender binary, or have no gender at all. Not all nonbinary people identify as trans, and vise-versa.
GENDERFLUID
A person who does not consistently adhere to one fixed gender and may move among genders. Their gender changes over time. It can fluctuate between genders on the gender spectrum. Their gender is more 'fluid'.
A term used to identify a person whose gender identity encompasses two genders, or is moving between two genders.
BIGENDER
TRIGENDER
Someone who experiences three distinct gender identities, either simultaneously, or moving fluidly between them. The three genders can be both binary or non binary and trigender people can also identify as transgender, non binary, or multigender.
DIFFERENT KINDS OF SEXUALITY
Listed down below are some, but not all, kinds of sexuality! If you know of a sexual orientation/identity that isn't listed below, please let me know!
HETEROSEXUAL / STRAIGHT
A person that is sexually attracted to a person of a different gender or sex.
GAY
People who are emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to people of the same gender.
This term shouldn't be used as an umbrella term for LGBTQ+ people, as it excludes other sexual orientations and genders. This term should also not be used in a disperaging manner (Ex: "That's so gay.") as a synonym for bad or stuipid.
BISEXUAL
A person of any gender who has romantic and/or sexual relationships with and/or is attracted to people from more than one gender. This term is often used by people who have relationships with and/or attractions for people of more genders than just men or women.
PANSEXUAL
A person who is attracted to many/any person, regardless of their gender.
LESBIAN
Non-men who are emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to other non-men.
QUEER
A term used by some LGBTQ+ people to describe themselves and/or their community. The term is also considered by some to be inclusive of the entire community and by others who find it fit to be an appropriate term to describe their more fluid identities. It was reclaimed from its negative earlier use. But, due to its varying meanings, use this word only when self-identifying or quoting an individual who self-identifies as queer.
ASEXUAL (ACE)
An individual who does not experience sexual attraction. Each asexual person experiences relationships, attraction, and arousal differently.
Asexuality is distinct from chosen behavior such as celibacy or sexual abstinence.
AROMANTIC (ARO)
A person who does not experience romantic attraction. Aromantic people can experience sexual attraction, although not all do.
DEMIROMANTIC
Someone who does not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a strong connection with a partner.
PANROMANTIC
A person who is romantically attracted to people of all genders, regardless of the gender(s). They will tend to feel that their partner's sex and/or gender does little to define their relationship.
GREYSEXUAL
People who experience limited sexual attraction. They experience sexual attraction very rarely, or with very low intensity.
OMNISEXUAL
Someone who is attracted to all genders or any gender, while still having a preference.
POLYAMOROUS
Someone who is, or desires to be in, a consensual relationship with multiple partners.
POLYSEXUAL
Someone who is attracted to multiple genders, but not all genders.
AROACE
Short for Aromantic Asexual. This is someone who experiences little or no romantic and sexual attraction.
DEMISEXUAL
Someone who only experiences sexual attraction to someone once they have created a romantic or platonic relationship with them.
PANSEXUAL
Someone who is attracted any person, regardless of their gender(s). Many pansexual people also describe themselves as being attracted to others based on their personality, not gender.
UNLABELED
An umbrella term for people who prefer to not have their gender identity, sexual orientation, or any other identity restricted to a specific category, label, or wording. It can describe their sexual attraction, gender expression, gender identity, or anything else concerning their persona.
ADDITIONAL TERMS
All terms provided by The Safe Zone Project.
ALLY: A (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects members of the LGBTQ+ community.
BICURIOUS: A curiosity toward experiencing attraction to people of the same gender/sex.
CLOSETED: An individual who is not open to themselves or others about their (queer) sexuality or gender identity. This may be by choice and/or for other reasons such as fear for one's safety, peer or family rejection, or disapproval and/or loss of housing, job, etc. Also known as being 'in the closet'.
COMING OUT: The process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one's on sexuality or gender identity, and/or the process by which one shares one's sexuality or gender identity with others.
OUTING: Involuntary or unwanted disclosure of another person's sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status.
PASSING: With sexuality, the act of presenting as straight. With gender, the act of presenting as cisgender or gender-typical, which is generally accomplished through conforming to gender roles. People may try to pass in anti-LGBTQ+ environments to ensure their safety. People who pass as cis or straight have the choice to either talk about their LGBTQ+ experience or to 'fit in' to a cis- and hetero- normative world. Passing is not required for LGBTQ+ people to deserve respect and love.
PRONOUNS: The words used to refer to a person other than their name. Common pronouns are they/them, he/him, and she/her. Neopronouns are pronouns created to be specifically gender neutral, including xe/xem, ze/zir, and fae/faer. Pronouns are sometimes called Personal Gender Pronouns, or PGPs. For those who use pronouns - and not all people do - they are not preferred, they are essential.
QUESTIONING: Someone who is in a process of discovery and exploration about their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or a combination thereof. Questioning people can be of any age, so for many reasons, this may happen later in life. Questioning is a profoundly important process, and one that does not imply that an individual is choosing to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer.
STEALTH: A term used to describe transgender or gender-expansive individuals who do not disclose their gender identity in public or private lives (or certain aspects of their public and private lives). For example, a person might go stealth in a job interview. Increasingly considered offensive by some, as to them it implies an element of deception. Some use the phrase maintaining privacy instead, while others use both terms interchangeably. Additionally, passing is an alternative term which, for some, has fewer negative connotations.
TRANSITION: A term used to refer to the process--social, legal, and/or medical--one goes through to affirm one’s gender identity. For some, this means changing hair styles, clothing, and other forms of gender expression. For others, this means changing names, pronouns, and identification documents, while for others, this may include gender-affirming medical care such as taking puberty blockers, taking hormones; and having gender-affirming surgeries. There is no one way to transition--the word means something to each individual. The validity of an individual’s gender identity does not depend on any social, legal, and/or medical transition; the self-identification itself is what validates the gender identity. Many individuals choose not to or are unable to transition for a wide range of reasons both within and beyond their control.
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